Several years ago, I came across a Sophia Bush quote that read, “You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously” and I’ve thought about it every day since. I remember feeling a huge wave of relief knowing it’s okay to experience what feels like two conflicting emotions at the same time.
"When starting my blog, I always knew I wanted to be as authentic as possible, which means embracing my hopeful and optimistic attitude, alongside my mental health struggles. I have been very open about how valuable it can be to take care of ourselves, the beauty of self-love, and the stories of creators who bring so much joy to the world."
A piece of writing which deeply resonated with me when I was in college was a blog post called “Ride the Wave” from the nonprofit organization To Write Love on Her Arms. The author wrote her piece in a way that allowed me to bear witness to her life journey while finding similarities in my own. The title gave me a metaphor of hope I’ve kept close to my heart ever since.
In years since, I have had a mental reconciliation about how to sit with all of my emotions, even the unpleasant ones. I’ve learned to let go of the false narrative of feeling like I can only experience one type of emotion at once. We might have times when we feel a sense of sadness even during joyful times, or vice versa. Recognizing this is an important part of acknowledging our humanity and putting self-compassion into practice.
There have been seasons of my life where my anxiety and depression have taken over the wheel and trying to find ways to stay open to joy and abundance during those times can be challenging. On top of that, it can be invalidating when others put timelines on us to “feel better” or “get over it” if we’re still working through a circumstance we haven’t learned to navigate yet.
During those times in my life, the pain and overwhelm I feel is so deep, but it still feels separate from my true sense of self. An even deeper part of me knows that there is hope on the other side, and although I don’t feel that hope yet, I stay expectant it will come eventually in the same way I know the sun will rise.
I have learned to give myself grace when I feel overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. There have been so many times where I feel such deep sadness and still recite my affirmations through tears. It’s not that I don’t allow myself to feel the pain, but rather I do my best to sit in the pain without drowning in it.
My highest self still believes in abundance even when I cannot see it, even when I cannot feel it, even when the clouds don’t seem to go away. The freedom I have gained through embracing that I am happy, hurting, and healing all at once has been liberating.
When you’re in a season of great joy and an outpouring of blessings, remember it’s okay if you still cry in the Target parking lot over a mean comment made by someone you care about, or because of another rejection from a job you applied for and really wanted.
When you’re in a season of heightened anxiety and depression, remember it’s okay if you still feel some happiness at the sight of a smiling baby at the grocery store, or if the person in front of you decides to pay for your coffee.
You are allowed to carry multiple emotions at once. May you find rest in knowing your feelings are valid and each one will come and go, just like a wave.
@wavesandfaves
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